My two-year-old son was dressed to kill. I love dressing him in his cool outfits for occasions. Some family visiting from the island were on their way so that we could all go out for dinner and they were at least five minutes out. I left Pharo in the living room watching his cartoon while I handled some last-minute touching up on my hair. Suddenly, a horrid smell killed every bit of fresh air entering my nostrils. Darn it! I recognized the smell instantly and knew exactly who the culprit was. So now I gotta quickly change him before our guests arrive.
I went on my search to charge him with the heinous crime but to my surprise, he had another bombshell in store for me.
As I walked down my hallway, my sparkling white prosocline tiles wreaked with little brown streaks. His partially soiled pull-ups were abandoned and collected for evidential purposes near a turned-over chair. I followed the streaks toward my living room sofa only to find his poopy fingerprints on there too. Crap! Is this really happening right now?
There he was, in the corner butt naked with his hands, shirt, and face covered in poo, licking between his fingers like no tomorrow. My heart ached… “Baby, noooo, please!” I yelled at my toddler that doesn’t comprehend. I took both his hands and tried to stop him from placing them back into his mouth but he threw his little hands and hit me in the face repeatedly while trying to bite me. He’s literally fighting me to eat his own stool. I felt like I failed my son. This is all my fault; I shouldn’t have left him alone for so long. Not only do I have to deal with him smearing his feces, but eating it too?! A struggle ensued trying to lift him off the ground and he’s all kicking and screaming and resisting when suddenly, the knock goes at the door. Oh no! no, no no…They’re here!
I scurried toward my front door in a panic while holding my soiled toddler away from me, trying my best not to get any stains on my outfit. “Who is it?” I sang already knowing it’s them. “Hey neighbor, it’s Mikey from next door, need to burrow your shovel right quick!” Wheewwwww! What a sense of relief. “Of course, Mikey, carry it.” I dashed into the bathroom and stripped my son. The Listerine was first, thank goodness I buy the one without alcohol, so it didn’t burn his mouth. Of course, he put up a fight. And then, I used his toothbrush to scrub his teeth and tongue with toothpaste. And the fight persisted, but that was one battle I had no intentions of losing. All I could think about was the number of germs he consumed… is he going to get really sick? Could he die? My thoughts devoured me.
I called my family who should’ve been there already and told them that Pharo suddenly isn’t feeling well, we’d have to catch up before they leave the island. They understood my little white lie. I then called his pediatrician who recommended that I take a deep breath, be sure to clean his mouth out with Listerine, and expect it to happen again.
This was my brutal slap of reality. My son has successfully done it a few more times. I’ve tried the playdough, paint, and slime on different occasions, and he attempts to eat them every time until I had to take them away. His pediatrician started him on Enfamil’s Iron Infant and toddler iron medication, but by putting the liquid into his bottle, he refuses to drink the bottle once he picks up on the taste. So, I realized that as soon as he’s done number two in his pull-ups, change him right away. This is the only thing that peacefully works for me.
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