MotherCop

First thing first, accept that some days will be harder than others. Whether it gets harder, or easier as the years continue to roll on, always remember that practice makes perfect!

We’ve all learned that acceptance plays a vital part when it comes to caring for our loved ones living with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Did you know that it can also be a vital ingredient in one’s reality?  This leads us to tip numero uno

1. ACCEPT YOUR REALITY

Many of us struggle with accepting “what is”—and that’s absolutely normal or expected initially, but at some point in our lives—we have to depart from being in denial, wake up and smell the truth about whatever situation it is that we’re facing.

I knew a lady that refused to believe that her son was developmentally delayed. I knew, because she and my son portrayed the same characteristics. While I accepted my “what is” and knew that something was going on with my kid, she instead, told people that her kid was just taking a bit longer to speak and comprehend, regardless of the blatant signs that screeched otherwise. While making the necessary appointments for my son to get his assessments, I insisted that she and her kid come along, just to be sure, I even offered to take the child myself if she was too afraid. She declined my offer, and steadily—ceased speaking to me.  Her child is now six-years-old with no communication whatsoever.

We not only harm ourselves when we don’t accept our reality, but we harm the people that mean the most to us in the process.  

2 . MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF!

Don’t allow your entire world to be surrounded by your loved one’s diagnosis. We oftentimes allow it to re-write our life in the midst of caring for them. Go exercise, get some fresh air, turn off all of your electronics sometimes and read a book (one of my personal favorites), dance, write, start yoga…do something for yourself! I’ve always been a firm believer that we can do anything that we put our minds to. And I still believe it wholeheartedly today! Once we accept “what is”—It’s important that we establish “Me Time” for ourselves—and to incorporate it into our daily life as we see necessary. It’ll make life worth fighting for.

I have a passion for writing. No, I don’t get to work on my novels or update my blog as consistently as I wish. I juggle a 9-5, being a single parent to a kid that’s diagnosed with ADHD, Level 3 ASD, and Anxiety (that includes therapy sessions and everything that comes in between) all with little to no support. So, my time wasn’t always my time. Heck—my time was never my time. I couldn’t even go out to family gatherings because it was sometimes too much for my little guy. And it started to take a toll on my physical and mental health. Fear not—I wasn’t ready to give up just yet! I made up my mind that I’m going to start writing and exercising as I pleased. So, while my son is still asleep around 5am, I use that opportunity to sneak in some jumping jacks or sit-ups, read a page from a book that I’m interested in reading, or write at least a paragraph for my blog by 5:30am. That 30 minutes may seem insignificant, but I can assure you that it goes a long way. Throughout my eventful day at work, I feel great about myself that I at least had some “Me Time” and that I was able to make some sort of headway to my goal. You can definitely do it too.

Put it into your mind that you can!

3. NUTRITION, NUTRITION NUTRITION!!!

I cannot stress enough the importance of maintaining a healthy diet in whatever you do. I know it’s a topic that’s regurgitated regularly, but it’s only because it’s absolutely necessary for your health. What we consume on a daily basis tells on our bodies.

True story: Cheeseburgers were my favorite food. I ate at least three juicy homemade bacon cheeseburgers a day. I thought that because I only weighed about 150lbs and that it didn’t appear to be affecting my physique, that it wouldn’t affect my health much. As my son got older and moved around more, I realized that my metabolism slowed down a bit, then—it was my steps. I eventually got out of breath quicker when playing with him until all I did was come home from work and go to bed. He couldn’t understand that Mommy wasn’t playing with him as much after work because she’s unhealthy and couldn’t keep up with his ADHD energy. That wasn’t any fault of his regardless. I’ll never forget what one of my son’s therapists told me during a session. She said to always take care of yourself first because if you don’t, you won’t have the health or strength to take care of your son. I had to come to grips with reality about my significant weight gain and had to make a decision—not just for myself—but for him. If I’m gone, who’s gonna take care of him? That dreadful thought alone was my wake-up call.

I want to be here as long as possible to care for him as he needs me to. I’m no around-the-clock possessive healthy eater with a strict daily diet plan. I started off small. I began by putting some restrictions in place like—not eating any meals after 8:30pm and being sure that I don’t miss breakfast. I’d have a toast, scrambled eggs, or tuna salad and a cup of tea/coffee. Don’t forget to drink lots of water.

Your mind feels a million times better once your body is well taken care of. Last but not least…

4. FORGIVE, LET GO- MOVE ON!

This title is self-explanatory. Go to great lengths to protect your peace. Don’t offer the slightest time or mental capacity to bicker or hold grudges against anyone that did you wrong. I surely won’t. Reserve that energy for positivity and other ways to better shape your space into what you need it to be for you and yours.  

One of my favorite quotes that I store at the forefront of my daily inspirational reminders is that—

“SOME PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE EITHER AS A BLESSING OR A LESSON” -Mother Theresa

Differentiate who’s deserving of your time and space. Your Mental Health depends on it!