“Freeze! It’s COVID-19!”

“I’m sorry—The kid is not allowed in the store without a face mask!”

Respond as an Autistic parent…and you can’t say… “But he/she’s Autistic!”

It’s no secret that we, as adults, struggle daily to keep our facemasks on throughout the day, so imagine the struggle a typical kid has trying to do that difficult task;—now imagine an atypical kid’s struggle.

People with special needs are considered atypical, meaning they may face a few more challenges than a neurotypical individual. This pandemic brought forth many changes when it came to coping with Autism. Why? Because people with Autism—kids in particular- usually prefer a routine, and if the routine isn’t followed, it may cause them distress.

I’ll tell you a true story. Those were the exact words that a security officer at a local grocery store said to me while entering the store with my autistic son. My first response was: “I’m not quite sure if you’re aware, but children are exempted from wearing face masks in public.” Which was true at the time. His rebuttal was, “But he can walk”. I asked, “What does him being able to walk have to do with anything?” His reply was, “He’s clearly a big boy, Ma’am; and our policy states, if the child can walk, they’re old enough to wear a mask.

At this time, his voice is slightly accelerated, and he’s causing a scene. I kept my composure and reminded him that their policy does not supersede the Emergency Orders handed down by the Prime Minister. And secondly, my child is only two years old, regardless of how big he looks. I told him that his first question should’ve been, “Is the child capable of wearing a face mask?” He interrupted me and said, “It doesn’t look like anything’s wrong with him to me!” o-o

Yes! He just kept on going! At this point, that was the final straw. I was beyond offended and felt misunderstood. But I showed it in the most respectful way. My simple response was, “Good day to you, Sir!” And I turned away.

As I was leaving, a few kind shoppers who had witnessed the entire situation engaged me. They offered me clean face masks, which I already had.

A lady shook her head and said, “Poor customer service on his behalf!” Another said, “He’s very inconsiderate and unprofessional for not handling that situation much better. He didn’t even bother to find out whether the child was capable of wearing a mask or how best he could assist. I could’ve clearly seen that you weren’t interested in offering any extra information that wasn’t asked for either. Which is ok.  Not because someone doesn’t physically look like they have challenges doesn’t mean they aren’t faced with them. I’ll be more than happy to do your shopping for you.”

I was totally not interested in spending my hard- earned cash at that store anymore. But this kind stranger made me feel so much better that I did take him up on his offer. While waiting inside my car for my groceries, to my surprise, the same security officer came out with my groceries instead of the guy who did my shopping and apologized for his unprofessionalism. I’m pretty sure that the kind stranger pulled him aside and had a few words with him. I was taken aback but more than receptive to his apology.

In a world where you can be anything, be kind! -Unknown

Policing the Coronavirus and Autism

The unprecedented 2020 global pandemic that has plagued our world—was nothing short of the 2008 film “The Day the Earth Stood Still.” New York (The City that never sleeps) was in a deep slumber. Paris, France—one of the most visited places on earth—was, at one point during this pandemic, deserted due to a lack of tourist activity. The world as we knew it—whether we wish to accept it or not- had come to a definitive stop.

The pandemic caused by the Notorious COVID-19, or the Coronavirus as some call it, has forced us all to share two common traits as beings—fear and uncertainty! Not only has the virus threatened and attacked our economic system, but it’s affected our global health system tremendously. Hospitals all across the globe were left conducting strategic planning of ways to accommodate the accelerating numbers of persons infected with the virus—with morgues unbelievably running out of space for the victims who were fatally affected.

The stats rose daily, despite strict protocols and social distancing measures in place by health officials, such as mandatory face masks in public, frequent handwashing, and maintaining a six-foot distance from others. The facts remain: COVID-19 is here, no one knows exactly when it will leave, and no one is certain who will be next to contract the deadly virus.

It is known that people with Autism prefer routine. Autism parents were put to the test during this pandemic. The strict lockdowns and closure of daycares and schools were a task to endure on their own, considering the customary drive to school every day was no more.

The closure of parks and public swimming pools all played a factor in the increased meltdowns from our darlings living with ASD.

So, how did the pandemic affect a Mother like me who still had to complete my sworn day-to-day duties of upholding the Law, and the difficult obligations of being a Mother to an Autistic toddler? Let’s just say I had to get familiar with Folder’s Cappuccino Mocha Chocolate.

At the start of the pandemic, in March 2020, Pharo’s pediatrician’s lengthy denial finally ended. He agreed that Pharo doesn’t appear to be progressing as he should be and finally wrote a referral to see the country’s only Neurologist/Pediatrician. They were generous enough to accommodate my son, regardless of hospitals and clinics being closed to the public and only accommodating life-or-death and COVID-19-related matters. He went through with the MRI, ECG, and hearing evaluation, which he passed.

The next step was to see a psych therapist to determine what’s wrong. Here’s where it gets interesting. I’m struggling with a toddler that’s approaching his terrible twos that’s dipped in Autism. Not to mention terrible night terrors and sleep issues of him crying and fighting in his sleep throughout the night (so I’m not sleeping through the night).

I was thrilled for Pharo’s sessions to be starting soon—only to get the devastating news that the therapist, for whatever reason, is only willing to conduct virtual therapy sessions. Now, I can understand that for personal medical reasons you’d take this route, but the price per session lasting only thirty minutes was absurd! My son didn’t sit behind the camera once! His sessions unexpectedly turned into sessions for me. The sleepless nights, lack of results from the inconsistency of sessions, and everything else had me STRESSED beyond words!

My supervisors started to notice, as it eventually started affecting my work drive. And then suddenly, as the country began to experience its first wave—the streets of Nassau got relatively quiet. Ironically, strict daily lockdowns worked out in my favor. I was able to not work too hard because everything was closed down.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I called the therapists’ office and demanded that they start face-to-face sessions with my short-attention-span child—or I would have to carry my services elsewhere—to whoever would accommodate him.

Out of all my traits that Autism impacted, my patience was the one to be affected immensely—and for the better actually! At times, I now feel like I have the patience of Job. I know there are procedures that must be met to get a conclusive diagnosis, but the services (when they did occur) only cost me money—with no sign of resolution in sight. I did the obvious and cut them loose. I felt like I was running out of time…and I was! I ended up catching COVID-19!… Yikes!

I’d love to read in the comments below how you coped at the beginning of the pandemic, during the mandatory country-wide mass lockdowns.