MotherCop

“I’m sorry—The kids not allowed in the store without a face

 mask!”

Respond as an Autistic parent…and you can’t say… “But he/she’s Autistic!”

Regardless of the fact the we’re in modern times where education and information is basically free via the internet to those assessable to it, 18% of earth’s population still choose selected ignorance.

Those words should not be the first thing you say to any person attempting to enter a store with a child not wearing a mask, regardless of it being the number one health requirement to move around in public freely.

 It’s no secret that we as adults struggle on a daily basis to keep on our facemask throughout the day, so imagine the struggle that a typical kid has trying to complete that difficult task, now—imagine an atypical kids struggle.

People with special needs are considered atypical, meaning that their everyday challenges are a just a bit more complicated than the neurotypical individual, and that’s just fine, because everyone in the world was uniquely made.

This pandemic brought forth many challenges when it came to coping with Autism. Why? Because people with Autism—kids in particular, have many different challenges—hence the reason for it being called a spectrum, meaning a variety. Some of those challenges includes sensory processing disorders where a child’s all eight sense may be challenged.

I’ll tell you a true story. Those were the exact words that a security officer at a local grocery store said to me while entering the store with my autistic son. My first response was: “I’m not quite sure if you’re aware, but children are exempted from wearing face masks in public.” Which was true at the time. Security: But he can walk. Me: What does him being able to walk have to do with anything? Security: He’s clearly a big boy, Ma’am, our policy is if the child can walk, their old enough to wear a mask. Me: First of all, your policy does not supersede the Emergency Orders handed down by the Most Competent Authority! And secondly, my child is only two years old, regardless of how big he looks. Now, your first question should’ve been “Is the child capable of wearing a face mask?” Security: It doesn’t look like anything’s wrong with him to me!” o-o

Yes! He just said that! At this point, that was the final straw. I was offended, and felt misunderstood. But I showed it in the most respectable way. “Good day to you Sir!” And I turned away, attempting to leave before a few kind shoppers engaged me that witnessed the entire situation. They offered clean face masks that I already had.

A lady shook her head and said, “Poor customer service on his behalf!” Another said, “He’s very inconsiderate and unprofessional for not handling that situation much better. He didn’t even bother finding out if the child is capable of wearing a mask and to see how best that he can assist. I could’ve clearly seen that you weren’t interested in offering any extra information that wasn’t asked either. Which is ok.  Not because someone doesn’t physically look like they have challenges, doesn’t mean that they aren’t faced with it. I’ll be more than happy to do your shopping for you.”

I was totally not interested in spending my hard- earned cash at that store anymore. But this kind stranger made me feel so much better that I did take him up on his offer. While waiting inside my car for my groceries, to my surprise, the same security officer came out with my groceries instead of the guy that did my shopping and apologized for his unprofessionalism. I’m pretty sure that the kind stranger pulled him aside and had a few words with him. I was taken aback but more than receptive to his apology.

In a world where you can be anything, be kind! -Unknown

Policing the Corona Virus and Autism

The unprecedented 2020 global pandemic that has plagued our world—was nothing short of the 2008 film “The Day the Earth Stood Still.” New York (The City that never sleeps) was in a deep slumber. Paris, France—one of the most visited places on earth, was at one point during this pandemic, desertion status from the lack of tourist and activity. The world as we knew it—whether we wish to accept it or not, had come to a definitive stop.

The pandemic caused by the Notorious COVID-19 or the Corona Virus as some call it, has simultaneously made us all share two common traits as a being—fear and uncertainty! Not only has the virus threatened and attacked our economic system, but it’s effected our global health system tremendously. Hospitals all across the globe were left conducting strategic planning of ways to accommodate the accelerating numbers of persons infected with the virus—with morgues unbelievably running out of space for the victims that we’re fatally affected.

The stats were raising daily, regardless of strict protocols and social distancing measures in place by health officials, eg. mandatory wearing of face masks while in public, frequent handwashing, maintaining a six feet distance from others etc. The facts still remain, COVID-19 is here, no one knows exactly when it will be leaving and no one is certain who will be next to contract the deadly virus.

It is known that people with Autism prefer routine. Autism parents were put to the test during this pandemic. The strict lockdowns and closure of daycares and schools were alone a task to endure considering the customary drive to school everyday was no more.

The closure of parks and public swimming pools all played a factor in the increased meltdowns from our darlings living with ASD.

 

So, how did the pandemic affected a Mother like me who still had to complete my sworn day-to-day duties of upholding the Law, and the difficult obligations of being a Mother to an Autistic toddler? Let’s just say I had to get familiar with Folder’s Cappuccino Mocha Chocolate.

During the start of the pandemic, which was in March 2020, Pharo’s pediatrician’s lengthy denial had finally come to a cease. He agreed that Pharo doesn’t appear to be progressing like he should be and finally wrote a referral to see the country’s only Neurologist/Pediatrician. They were generous enough to accommodate my son, regardless of hospitals and clinics being closed to the public and only accommodating life-or-death and COVID-19 related matters only. He went through with the MRI, ECG and hearing evaluation, which he passed.

The next step was to see a psych therapist to determine what’s wrong. Here’s where it gets interesting. I’m struggling with a toddler that’s approaching his terrible twos that’s dipped in Autism. Not to mention terrible night terrors and sleep issues of him crying and fighting in his sleep throughout the night (so I’m not sleeping through the night).

I was thrilled for Pharo’s sessions to be starting soon—only to get the devastating news that the Therapist for whatever reason is only willing to conduct virtual therapy sessions. Now, I can understand that for personal medical reasons you’d take this route, but the price per session lasting only thirty minutes was absurd! My son didn’t sit behind the camera once! His sessions unexpectedly turned into sessions for me. The sleepless nights, lack of results from the inconsistency of sessions and everything else had me STRESSED beyond words!

My supervisors started to notice, as it eventually started affecting my work drive. And then suddenly, as the country began to experience its first wave—the streets of Nassau got relatively quiet. Ironically, strict daily lockdowns worked out in my favor. I was able to not work too hard because everything was closed down.

Being in a graduating squad of ninety-nine other officers has caused me to fork up a lot of change as well. We’re a tight squad, and every other week it’s someone’s birthday party, wedding or baby shower that required you to buy a gift or attend to show support. Absolutely nothing was able to go on and I couldn’t be more relieved.  I couldn’t take it anymore. I called the therapists’ office and demanded that they start face-to-face sessions with my short attention-span child—or I will have to carry my services elsewhere—to who will accommodate him.

Out of all my traits that Autism impacted, my patience was the one to be affected immensely—and for the better actually! At times, I now feel like I have the patience of Job. I know that there are procedures that must be met that’ll result in a conclusive diagnosis, but the services (whenever they did occur) were only costing my pockets—with no resolution in sight. I did the obvious and cut them loose. I felt like I was running out of time…and I was! I ended up catching the COVID-19 Virus!… Yikes!

I’d love to read in the comments below how you coped during the beginning of the pandemic during the mandatory country mass lockdowns.